If we go a few years back, there we were – 2 young men, in our mid/late 20’s – and we know that we want to expand our family sometime soon.
we started thinking of ways this will be possible. The main options were:
- Shared parenthood (having a baby with another woman and having a shared custody)
We considered each of the methods. Each had its pros and cons. At first we tried to find a partner for shared parenthood. We contacted an organization that helps people find partners for this cause, but they were very cold and made it clear that the mother has most of the rights, and that the other father (not the biological one) is not considered a father. It was a very mean thing to say. I mean if we decided to do this, the child will have more parents loving him/her. wouldn’t that be great? Also all women we talked to about this had the same point of view, so we decided to drop this.
After much thought we reached the decision that it’s good that we dropped the shared parenthood since going forward with this would mean bringing a child to the world to a kind of divorced family from day 1. Having 2 houses, seeing the fathers only 2 days a week (3 if we’re lucky)… So we turned to think about surrogacy.
Surrogacy had its own cons as well, but we’ve decided this is the best way for us to extend our family. And still it took some time till we started our process. It actually also took some luck as well. At first we tried organizing it ourselves. We heard about friends also trying this process and went to hear from them what it requires. There was another couple that came to hear, and we became friends for a while. This second couple told us about a friend of theirs who started an agency for helping people with the surrogacy process and organizing everything for them. It sounded interesting and so we decided to go and listen what he has to say.
BTW, if at the beginning of the post we were mid/late 20’s, here we’re already early 30’s… How time flies…