My way to Fatherhood… and other stuff

Posts tagged ‘Technical’

Sleep of the just? Just sleep…

Sleep… The final frontier… :)

Why does the expression “Sleep like a baby” exist? Babies do not sleep that well! And their fathers do not sleep well either.

I would like to blame it on Noa’s Roseola, but I believe it all started even before that…

Noa and Maya started sleeping fairly well at about 4 months old (after we transferred them from our bedroom to their own nursery), with an occasional waking up due to falling pacifier. However, in the past few weeks we’ve been experiencing crazy waking up sessions. It seems to be that it is mostly Noa who is waking up, crying hysterically, unable to relax. It started out a few times a night, and now seems to happen almost every hour or so. Sometimes Maya doesn’t seem to notice, but sometimes she does. Usually she notices around 4am so that the end of the night is the most difficult with both of them waking up and not always going back to sleep.

And you can imagine what it is like for the fathers to go on with not a lot of “good sleep”.

We actually managed to contain Noa’s sessions to shorter ones, by trying to catch it as early as possible, patting her back and shushing her. But it’s not always enough.

As a result, I find myself tired a lot of the time, going to sleep very early (sometimes even as early as 8:30pm) – trying to catch as much sleep as possible before the celebrations begin… But sometimes I make the mistake of watching Master Chef till 10:50pm and then find out that the night is more or less over…

Ronen on the other hand goes to sleep later than I do usually. He usually works after they go to sleep (although I can sometimes hear him listening to old songs on YouTube :) ). The lack of sleep seems to affect him less than it affects me, but he’s not immune to it either.

As a last resort we’ve decided to go to a sleep consultant. We hope she can give us some tips on how to make them sleep better and longer. I’m tired (pun intended) of waking up at 4:30am… I’ll keep you posted on how that went.

Lucky for them they are so cute and fun during “legal” waking hours :)

Besides, Noa already has 2 teeth, and Maya finally got her first one, and both started eating solids and enjoy it very much! But that’s for another post :)

P.S.

Found a cool app for the iPhone that does Comic strip-like photos, so I’ll just post these latest creations :)

Have fun!

Noa_Breakfast_HalftoneMaya_Park2_Halftone

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Days 14-18

Nov. 6-10

We’re not alone here anymore. 2 new couples arrived this week.

First, Izik and Eyal arrived. Their twins were born a bit early and they are now in N.I.C.U. Finally we had more people to play ping-pong with, to share a table at dinner and breakfast… It’s nice.

Yesterday, Orly and Ronen arrived. We’ve met them before at Alon’s appartment when Alon and Doron briefed us about India.

So now we have a table for 6.

We’re still working, and still waiting. Unfortunately, my computer died last weekend. We tried to fix it but it seems that the motherboard is dead and and the IBM lab is on the other side of Mumbai…

Yesterday we finished week 36. This is very exciting, and this means the delivery can be any day now. We’re counting on tomorrow since it will be a cool date (11.11). Friday will also be nice (12.11.1o) but whenever they arrive will be good! :)

In the meantime we’re watching TV and I’m already addicted to MasterChef Australia :) there are also a lot of reruns of Friends, and Modern Family which we always like to watch. They have so many reruns here… Only today they shower Catwoman TWICE! and every day there are 3 reruns of every show… You can’t miss it :)

Anyhow, sorry for not writing as often as usual but the fact that nothing much is going on combined with the fact that my comp died makes it difficult. You’ll forgive me I hope…

Kisses and good night. And please don’t call us after 20:30 IL time! (last night we got a call at 1:22am and were sure it’s time to go to the hospital…)

 

They are showing Aladdin on Saturday, so I just felt like it :)

Days 8-10

Oct. 31 – Nov. 2

We got ourselves some kind of routine by now. We’ve been here long enough to do that…

Every morning we get up, go to breakfast. Sometimes before breakfast we watch some TV since they show Friends in the morning. Sometimes Ronen goes to the gym before I wake up. For breakfast I have chocoflakes with milk, and then some bread with jam and some fresh pineapple. Every day I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll ask for a plain omelet, but eventually I never do.

Then we work. Later we usually go to the pool. At least I go every day. I love the pool. It calms me.

Then comes dinner, ping-pong, TV or a movie in our room. Or some nights we go out. take a motoriksha to Hiranandani and have a cold drink or donuts or a muffin and do some grocery shopping at Haiko.

Then we sleep.

§

Yesterday we talked to Alon (he’s working with Doron), and he wanted us to check if it is possible to find Similac in the pharmacies here (called “Medical stores”). Alon wants to know this so he can prepare the next parents as to what to expect here. We went to every pharmacy we found in Hiranandany, and only found one 400 gr. can of Similac (it was dusty and cost 750 rupees!). We’ll have to arrange for some more food from Israel…

§

In 2 days India will celebrate the Festival of Light aka Diwali. It is a 5 day holiday packed with drumming, celebration, and is considered one of the most important Hindu holidays. During the past few days we’ve heard the people practice their drums all day long, and a few minutes ago we just saw a rehearsal  of a fireworks show. It was nice :)

We’re going to play some ping-pong now! Have a good night!

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P1010220

Mumbai – Days 4-6

Day 4 – Wednesday, Oct. 27

We started the day with breakfast downstairs, and as usual I did not eat much. Then we went back to the room to work. Now, with your permission I’ll stop writing this, because as you probably understood by now, we work every day, Sunday to Thursday… So I’ll just tell you the rest :)

In the evening we took a tuk-tuk to Hiranandani, a nicer area with malls, restaurants etc. We read that there should be a Mothercare store there and wanted to check it out. We also wanted to change money. When we arrived, we saw a change place, but turns out we need a passport to change money, and also they do not change after 6pm. So we went on.

Now, what are the chances that a doctor (or was she just an assistant?) from the hospital we visited 2 days ago would see me in the street and recognize me?! So Akanksha saw me and called me. It was very funny. We talked for a little while, and then we went to look for the MotherCare store that we heard was in the area. Turns out the store closed and moved to a different location. So we went back to the mall and had coffee at Costa. And also a muffin…

StreetShowStreet show in Powai

Day 5 – Thursday, Oct. 28

Doron urged us to go check out the Hiranandani Hospital where the dilivery should take place. We went there to see the place. At first I had the feeling like we were sneaking around, but when we got to second floor where the labor rooms are we met a nurse that was happy to show us where the N.I.C.U. was. In the N.I.C.U. we met another nurse who explained a bit and was very patient and informative. We learned that we might need to stay a few nights at the hospital after the birth just to see the babies are all right. We went up and looked at some rooms, and I must say it was kind of relieving to realize that we’ll be there and there will be nurses outside our door to help if anything goes wrong…
From there we went back to Hiranandani, changed money, got Ronen a cover for the BlackBerry and bought water.
Oh! And back at the hotel we watched Smallville, and Lois finally made Clark tell her his secret! Yay! :)

TukTuk
Tuktuk ride

Day 6 – Friday, Oct. 29

TGIF! Today was an exciting day. We went to see Neeta – our surrogate for the first time, and do a sonography. We met Rajesh (Doron’s driver) at 10:30 and went to Minakshi’s clinic (she’s the doctor taking care of Neeta). We met Minakshi at her office and heard a bit about Neeta and the pregnancy. We then met Neeta and went to another clinic to do the sonography. Neeta was very shy and did not communicate much (regardless the fact that she doesn’t speak English…).
The sonography was very exciting. We got to see the ultrasound of the babies, and realized they were there, right in front of us, with their little hearts beating. One of them was swallowing water and it was so cute! We were told that it’s best if we waited at least another week or two, and that this will be a C-section.
After the test we dropped Neeta off at Minakshi’s again, and went to the mall (what is there for us to do on Friday if not hang out at the mall :) ). It was very boring and after a while we went back to the hotel. We went down to the pool for a little while, and then watched a movie in the room.
One thing I forgot to mention is that we have a game room in the hotel, where there’s a a snooker table and a ping-pong table. We’ve been playing ping-pong almost every day since we arrived, and it is very fun! So after dinner we went to play again, and one of the hotel guys – Madhukar – was there watching us. At some point I offered him to play instead of me and he was happy to join the game against Ronen. Turns out he’s a very good player, but Ronen gave a good fight.
Then, like good Israelis we complained again about the noise the AC was making, and they transferred us to room 708 which is a bit bigger, so it’s nice.
To finish the day we went to the bar at the next door Ramada hotel (5 stars). The bar was empty, but we had a nice Fisher King beer and watched a tv shows featuring 2 bimbos travelling in Thailand.
And now it’s time to say good night…

I know that the posts are becoming quite technical, but as you know, we’re basically sitting here waiting…

And I’ll leave you with this… Just for fun :)

Lists

So Doron has a site where you can get general info on the Surrogacy process, general rates, options etc. (you can check the site in the links on the side – Tammuz). One of the links there is “Pregnancies & Births”. As an expecting father I have this habit of checking this page every now and then ad see where we are in the list of expecting parents… So it was a while ago when I last checked and I suddenly remembered it this week and checked the site. Guess what? We’re in the head of the list! (#1977):

Of course this will not be December as we’re having twins, but the original date was Dec 7th.

Our flight is in less than 36 hours! You can imagine how crazy everything is now… We’ve been collecting clothes and equipment from friends, buying stuff, getting ready. The last days were packed with endless laundries, painting the nursery, chasing after missing stuff from the endless lists (clothes, ointments, bottles, pacifiers, sterilizer, diapers, baby food and so on…).

Our amazing travel agent Gil also arranged that we’ll have extra 8 kilos per person on our way to India, so we don’t have to worry when we pack, and we are able to take more stuff (maybe even stuff for ourselves!) :)

One more day of organizations, and then we’re off to Mumbai. Once there we’ll only have to wait for the birth, nothing else we can do there… Unless of course you count working, meeting our surrogate mother Neeta, organizing the hotel room to suit 2 babies etc. And of course once there I’ll have more time to update (or am I kidding myself?!) :)

The Pacifier

Yeah! We’re pregnant! …What now? We’re not ready for anything! But that was 6 months ago…

Now here we are today… still not ready!!

Well that’s not totally true. We started arranging the apartment a little bit – we cleared the nursery, we bought new shelves for the storage room, we started collecting stuff for the babies, and as I’m writing these words, our new and cool stroller (BumbleRide Indie Twin) is doing its way from NY to Tel Aviv!!

But there’s still so much we need to do! And in 2 week’s we’re taking off and leaving for India. We have to prepare everything by then.

So… Tomorrow we’re going to do some shopping for baby stuff. Bottles, pacifiers, towels, sheets etc. It’s exciting! but also a bit scary. What do I know what they would like? And how do I use these things?! Bottle sanitizer? Baby sense? Diapers?? Is there no course? can someone show me how to do all these things and more?

So yeah… I’m a bit nervous. Hysterical even… But how can I relax when there’s soooo much to do and so little time? I guess I’ll just have to learn as I go. Won’t I?

A quick recap

If we go a few years back, there we were – 2 young men, in our mid/late 20’s – and we know that we want to expand our family sometime soon.

we started thinking of ways this will be possible. The main options were:

  1. Adoption
  2. Shared parenthood (having a baby with another woman and having a shared custody)
  3. Surrogacy

We considered each of the methods. Each had its pros and cons. At first we tried to find a partner for shared parenthood. We contacted an organization that helps people find partners for this cause, but they were very cold and made it clear that the mother has most of the rights, and that the other father (not the biological one) is not considered a father. It was a very mean thing to say. I mean if we decided to do this, the child will have more parents loving him/her. wouldn’t that be great? Also all women we talked to about this had the same point of view, so we decided to drop this.

After much thought we reached the decision that it’s good that we dropped the shared parenthood since going forward with this would mean bringing a child to the world to a kind of divorced family from day 1. Having 2 houses, seeing the fathers only 2 days a week (3 if we’re lucky)… So we turned to think about surrogacy.

Surrogacy had its own cons as well, but we’ve decided this is the best way for us to extend our family. And still it took some time till we started our process. It actually also took some luck as well. At first we tried organizing it ourselves. We heard about friends also trying this process and went to hear from them what it requires. There was another couple that came to hear, and we became friends for a while. This second couple told us about a friend of theirs who started an agency for helping people with the surrogacy process and organizing everything for them. It sounded interesting and so we decided to go and listen what he has to say.

BTW, if at the beginning of the post we were mid/late 20’s, here we’re already early 30’s… How time flies…

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